When you’re putting together your family tree, it’s meant to clearly show how and where your ancestors lived. However, one challenge genealogists face today is how to document the growing number of diverse family structures that exist across world, and they often don’t follow the traditional structure of a two-parent, heterosexual household.
More and more people are living this way, so it’s important for your research that you know how to document things like same-sex parents, blended families, multi-parent households, donor-conceived children or long-term co-parenting arrangements.
Traditional charts are still built around binary roles, which can make these families hard to map. Here, we take you through how to put together a fully inclusive tree that shows all types of relationships using MyHeritage research tools.
Key takeaways on non-traditional family genealogy:
- Modern families can include same-sex parents, blended households, donor-conceived children, and multi-parent arrangements.
- Most genealogy tools still default to mother-father roles, so you’ll need to adjust partnership and parent settings as you go.
- Same-sex couples are added like any other partnership, with the key step being accurate parent-child links.
- Blended families are best represented when every relationship is added separately, especially when children connect to more than two adults.
What do we mean by a non-traditional family in genealogy?
Modern households come together in all kinds of ways, and when you’re building a family tree, those connections matter just as much as biological ones. Being able to spot and record these traditionally atypical family structures makes it much easier to ensure no unnecessary gaps in your tree.
In genealogy, “non-traditional” doesn’t mean unusual or fringe. It simply means the family has been formed through a path that isn’t the traditional two-parent model, and the list below gives a quick snapshot of what you may encounter.
- Same-sex parents: Two parents of the same gender raising children together, with connections that may be biological, donor-based, or adoptive.
- Blended families: Children from previous relationships become part of a new household, often introducing step-parents and step-siblings into the picture.
- Multi-parent arrangements: More than two adults share parental roles, either formally (through legal agreements) or informally (through lived family arrangements).
- Donor-conceived families: Children are conceived using donor sperm or eggs, creating a distinction between biological parents and the social parents who raise the child.
- Surrogacy-based families: A child is carried by a surrogate but raised by the intended parent or parents, adding another layer to how you record birth and parentage.
- Adoptive families: Parents are linked to children legally rather than biologically, and these relationships can be formed at many different life stages.
- Co-parenting households: Parents raise a child together but are not in a romantic relationship. This might include separated couples or friends who choose to co-parent.
- Single-parent by choice: One parent intentionally builds a family on their own, sometimes with the help of a donor or other assisted conception route.
Every group shown above can be classed as non-traditional, and as you can see, they’re all quite common family setups. The key is knowing which relationships belong on the chart and how they connect to one another.
Once you recognize the type of family you’re working with, the next step is simply choosing the right parent, partner or child settings via MyHeritage’s family tree Help Center, so your tree reflects life as it actually unfolded.
How to add non-traditional families to your tree
The trick with non-traditional families is that the links don’t always fall into a neat pattern, so it helps to add them in an order that keeps everything easy to follow. Once you have that in mind, you’ll find it much easier to build an accurate and inclusive family tree.
Here’s how to get started.
Step #1: Start with the couple or partnership
It does not matter whether the adults are married, in a domestic partnership, or simply raising children together. It also doesn’t matter whether they’re a same-sex couple. Create the parents’ profiles and indicate the status of the partnership. On MyHeritage, for each partner you add for an individual, you can mark the relationship as:
- Married
- Divorced
- Separated
- Widowed
- Engaged
- Partner
- Friends
- Annulment
- Unknown
- Other
So, for example, if Adam and Bonnie had a child together as friends, and Bonnie is married to Cheryl, you would add both Adam and Cheryl as Bonnie’s partners, and for Adam you would select “Friends”, while under Cheryl, you would select “Married.”
In the case of a new relationship following a divorce or separation, make sure the separation is indicated in the relationship between the ex-partners, and then add the new partner. If the new partner is now a step-parent to any children from a previous relationship, you can add a new connection between each step-child and step-parent and mark it as “adoptive.”
Step #2: Add any additional parents one adult at a time
Past relationships matter for context, even if they didn’t last. It’s a good idea to add any earlier partners, link any children they share, and then mark the relationship as “Separated” or similar. That could save you from scratching your head later when a record turns up with that person’s name on it.
Every now and then, you’ll come across a family where more than two adults share parental roles. In such a case, simply add more adults as partners to the existing parents and pick a relationship type that best suits the situation.
Step #3: Add the children
By default, when you add a child to a digital family tree, the system will assume that they are biologically linked to the parents. If there is a biological parent in the picture, start by adding the child to that person’s profile and select the other biological or step-parent as the father or mother. On MyHeritage there is also an option to select “No father” or “No mother” in the case of a single-parent family. If there is no biological parent involved in raising the child, add the child to an adoptive parent and change the connection type to adoptive.
Step #4: Select the relevant parent relationship
You can change a child’s relationship to their parents from biological to adoptive or foster in the “Family” section of the full profile editor.
Step #5: Connect non-biological children to their additional parents
In the profile panel, click the three-dot icon labeled “More” and select “Connect to existing person.” Then, select “Connect to parent” and enter the name of the additional parent.
Start building an inclusive family tree today
The aim in genealogy is always to create an accurate record of your family history, which means going into the weeds and looking at every relationship as it really took shape. With the right approach, you can capture those links in a way that makes sense both now and to anyone who reads your work in future.
If you’re ready to put this into practice, open your tree and start adding the relationships you’ve mapped out. Work through them one by one, using the details you already have to guide where each person belongs.
For more details on adding adoptive and step-parent relationships to your MyHeritage family tree, see Adding an Adopted Child to a Biological Family Tree.
Using MyHeritage’s database of over 30 billion historical records, you can get a clear view of how your family grew and changed over the centuries and put together a tree that tells a story future generations can follow.
FAQs on non-traditional family genealogy
What if I’m not sure how two people in the family were connected?
Add them both to the tree and mark the relationship as “Unknown.” A quick note in the bio section about what you think the connection might be is enough until you have firmer information.
Can I show a relationship even if the adults never lived together?
Yes. Add the partnership as usual and use a short note to explain the setup. Plenty of families co-parent from separate homes, and it belongs in the tree just like anything else.
How do I record situations where a child has limited or no contact with one parent?
Add the parent anyway. You can keep the link factual and then explain the circumstances in a short note if you feel it’s relevant to the story.
What should I do if the family structure changed several times over the years?
Work through it in stages. The easiest way is to follow the family as it unfolded (i.e. one relationship, then the next) and link the children to whoever they belong with at each stage. Make sure to add dates for each event, whether it’s a marriage, divorce, partnership, or separation. The shape of the timeline will make more sense once it’s all in place.
Is there a right time to update the tree if I’m still collecting details?
Add what you know now and fill in the gaps later. Trees are meant to grow over time, so you don’t need every detail nailed down before you start.
