As human beings, we are hardwired to tell stories. Stories help us not only deeply understand and connect with one another, but also make sense of our lives and the world we live in. MyStories, MyHeritage’s service that simplifies writing a memoir with weekly email prompts, is an incredible gift to receive or to give to yourself for exactly this reason. Your life matters, your stories matter, and there’s no better time than the present to get your memories down on paper and preserve them for yourself and your family.
Capture cherished memories in a keepsake book with MyStories >>
The process of writing your MyStories memoir can be fun, emotional, and even therapeutic at times. In this article, I’ll share 7 memoir-writing tips — as the author of several published books — for making the most of your writing sessions and producing a book you and your family will cherish for years to come.
Tip #1: Make a ritual
Don’t treat your email prompts from MyStories like any other email to check off your to-do list.
Set aside a specific time each week that you’ll devote to answering the question. It doesn’t have to be a long time: 20-30 minutes is a good starting point. In fact, sometimes setting yourself a shorter window will make you write more efficiently — and could make the task feel more manageable. You can always extend the session or schedule another one if you want to spend more time on it.
Before sitting down to write, create a distraction-free environment. Close the door to your office, or take your laptop to a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Put your phone on silent (or better yet, leave it in another room). Clear away any clutter on your desk. Replace it with items that might help inspire you: photo albums, perhaps. Heirlooms that remind you of your loved ones. Your favorite succulent. Anything that will help you feel relaxed and focused.
Establishing a little “opening ritual” can help get the words flowing. Some ideas:
- Make yourself a warm or refreshing drink
- Light a scented candle
- Meditate for a few minutes
- Say a little prayer or affirmation
- Take a deep breath
It may feel silly, but taking a moment to immerse yourself into the task can help invite your memories to the surface.
Soon, you’ll find yourself looking forward to your “MyStories sessions” all week.
Tip #2: Get the words out first and edit later
Author Anne Lammott offers a great deal of excellent writing advice in her book Bird by Bird. One popular concept she coined was that of the “s***y first draft”: the idea that your first draft is not supposed to be good.
Writing and editing are two separate skills. Writing requires creativity, flexibility of thought, an open mind and heart, and an open dialogue with your memory or imagination. You have to be focused inward, and to express what comes to mind freely, uncritically, and without judgment. Editing requires the exact opposite: objectivity, distance, discernment, and a critical eye. Those things have no place in the process of creating your first draft. In fact, they will only get in the way.
So, when you answer the weekly email prompt, don’t worry if it sounds good. Don’t worry if your story makes sense or if you’re telling the events in the right order. That’s what editing is for. When you’re writing a first draft, all you need to do is get your thoughts and memories down.
Then, when you feel ready to stop, stand up and walk away. Stretch. Take a walk around the block. Even better, save the email to your drafts and get back to it the following day. Then — and only then — engage “editing mode” and review what you wrote to see if there’s anything you’d like to change, add, remove, or improve.
By the way, if you already pressed “send” and want to add something, no worries: you can simply reply again to the same prompt email. You can also access all the questions and all your answers on the MyStories website and make any changes or edits you wish.
Tip #3: Take your time
MyStories sends the email prompts once a week. You can answer them at any pace you like, but there is a lot of wisdom in the once-a-week frequency.
Even if you’re super enthusiastic and raring to go, it’s a good idea to pace yourself. You might end up answering a bunch of questions, and then burning out quickly and losing motivation to keep going.
Answering one question a week gives enough time to contemplate each topic and give it sufficient thought while keeping up a steady momentum. You may even prefer to read the question at the beginning of the week, and wait until the end of the week to write your answer, so you can take the time to gather your thoughts, memories, and relevant photos before writing it out.
Tip #4: Enhance your memoir with photos — and bring them to life with MyHeritage’s photo features
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, right? Photos make your stories feel more tangible and can help your readers visualize the places and people you’re writing about. If you have some old photo albums lying around that you haven’t had a chance to digitize yet, now is the time!
Scanning your photos is easy and quick with the multi-photo scanner on the MyHeritage mobile app… but if you’d like the photo to be high-resolution and look good in print, it may be worth investing the time to scan them with a good flatbed scanner, or have them scanned professionally.
Once your photos have been scanned, upload them to MyHeritage to repair any scratches or creases, bring faces into sharp focus, restore faded colors, or colorize black and white photos in just a few clicks. The results are stunning and will look beautiful in your book.
Tip #5: Use AI tools, but sparingly
Generative AI tools such as ChatGPT, Gemini, and others make it so easy to create and polish text, and you can certainly use them to help you with the process — but don’t get carried away. The purpose of your memoir is to preserve your authentic self, your emotions, your memories, your voice.
AI can help you formulate a nice-sounding sentence, but it doesn’t know what it really feels like to say “I love you” for the first time, or to witness your child’s first smile, or to say goodbye to a loved one you know you’ll never see again. Only you can describe these things authentically because only you experienced them.
Besides, your audience is not the editors of The New Yorker. Your audience is your family, the people who know and love you. They don’t care if your memoir has typos. They don’t care if your phrasing is a little awkward. When they read your words, they want to be able to imagine you speaking them.
So, don’t use AI to tell your story for you. Use it to help you tell your story more effectively. It’s great for catching those elusive typos, or for suggesting phrasing when you’re having trouble formulating a sentence.
Tip #6: Not a fast typist? Use dictation software
Dictation software has come a long way in recent years. If you’re a “keyboard pecker” and finding it hard and time-consuming to type out your answers, look no further than the dictation or speech recognition feature that probably comes free with your computer or mobile device operating system.
This is also a great solution for those of you who prefer to answer questions on your mobile phone, but can’t quite pull off the nimble thumb gymnastics those young texters seem to have mastered.
Just be sure to review the text extra carefully later. You might not want that story about your “great ant” arriving at “Elvis Island” and settling in “tennis sea” to be preserved for posterity.
Tip #7: Feeling stuck? Skip or change the question
If you find you’re having trouble answering a question, don’t force it. Simply skip the question, or change it to something you’d rather answer! On the MyStories website, you can edit existing questions. You can even come back to the question later if inspiration strikes. Or not. There’s no rule that says you have to answer all 52 questions. There are no rules at all — this is your show!
Writing your MyStories book is sure to be a rewarding experience, from your very first writing session to the magical moment you hold that finished book in your hands.
So take your time, have fun, and enjoy the journey!
